Leading our Children by Example

The title says children, however I think these principles can apply in our everyday life. We can use these when leading our families, our friends and even our employees. I believe it is important that when we lead we keep in mind, that the eyes on us will see us succeed as well as fail. This is as important as the methods we use as when we succeed we shine and praise God. However we must also rise up and praise God in failure as well. Those looking to us, need to see the rising up even more than the shining. We all will fail, over and over. 

Pastor Paul DeJong of New Zealand’s Life Church said, “We must look at failure as my friend, as failure is a human certainty.”   James 3:2, “For we all stumble in many ways.” He also suggests for us to remember that failure only exists in the present and this also increases our wisdom (2 Corinthians 12:9, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness."So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”) Remembering that failure only succeeds when you don’t make an attempt.

When leading or teaching by example, I believe that we should be very careful not to give up too easily. Those looking to us, especially our children can be so easily influenced by these decisions for many years to come. We may look at not finishing painting the house as we are too busy. However a child will relate that in cleaning their room. “Well you didn’t finish painting the house, so why should I clean under my bed?” What about divorce? Are we showing our children that God truly cannot heal all things, i.e. our hearts, hurts, pains, etc..when we divorce? They may grow up Loving and believing in God, but we have planted that tiny seed of doubt, that maybe, just maybe God is not all powerful, allowing that little hole for the enemy to work his way into their lives. What about that project at work that we either failed to meet the deadline or just botched? Do we blame it on other people or reasons or do we step up, say we are sorry and ask for help in completing or correcting? All too often our worldly ways take over instead of our scriptural side.  So we must be vigilant both in our actions and our decisions as they could have long standing consequences if we follow our choices and not the direction of God. 

Don’t get me wrong, we will fail, it’s in our nature. Let’s look at me for a minute. For over 40 years, I stumbled along as a convenient Christian. I made lots of mistakes and errors along the way. Several issues I never really addressed or used to make a difference in my future choices. Now I am forced to see all the destruction I have left in my path. Now I am forced to look at every decision I make on a daily basis. Now I am forced to be accountable and I am trying daily to address everything as Jesus would expect me to. I still am struggling and falling down. The difference is now I have God to pick me back up. Our Father knows I am stumbling and he cares for me. My children know I went to jail. I addressed that as making very poor choices and they understood this. They have seen many of my mistakes in life. So they too see that I am now leading differently by letting God direct me. My decisions have landed me in the mess I am in today, yet God is making differences in me daily, planting new seeds of life, not death.  As a husband and a father I have failed miserably in the past. Now I am learning humbly how to be that husband and father God asked me to be. I believe that my children are seeing the difference in me and looking for my next failure to see how I respond to it. They see I am not perfect, yet they Love me anyway. Yet our Father is perfect, so it makes Him even easier to Love. 

You will fail, you will fall, and you will sin.....WOW! That is a hard thing to wrap your head around. But it's the stone cold truth. Now this isn't a pass using the "well I'm a failure anyway" attitude. No it's just a principle that once we accept that are all of these things, we can expect them and learn each time, using God to protect us and guiding us through all of the enemies’ traps he has placed throughout our journey. God will win, He will not fail you or abandon you. Remember the story of Peter, when God told Satan that he will let Peter be tested? Do you remember that God told Peter, I will be waiting at the end of the test with open arms. Do you not think God knew that was coming and unknown to Peter, prepared him for the test? I am reminded of my sons first really important baseball game. He was pitching against a top tested team. He took the mound and the first batter came up. He walked him. The second batter came up, he too walked. Then the third. My son looked to the stands to find me and with my hands I motioned, calm down. With my mouth I whispered "just play the game", something I spoke to him all the time. He walked around another minute or so, and then as if a slap in the back of the head, he looked at me with an almost too confident smile. My response is simply "uh-oh", now I am truly worried. They next pitch hissed as it flew in for the strike. Now the batter is shaken. Never hearing or seeing a ball do that before his coach now springs into action to calm him. The next three batters were all strike outs and they were filled with fear. As the game went on the batters no longer feared the pitches and went on to win the game. But as a father helping my son find his confidence in his time need made me feel proud. God too wants to be proud of us. Like my son to me, we have to look to the stands for him and trust, he knows what to say or do. 

Jesus lead by example, His entire existence on this planet was to teach us through His actions and parables. We are blessed to have the Bible to read and clergy to teach us today. We must remember to look to the stands when we lose focus and remember, we can succeed if we stick to the principles that have been laid out before us. I often hear it’s not how we run the race but how we finish. I think the race becomes easier if we are given the proper tools and shown the correct way. So let’s step up, at home, work, church, small groups or even in public and lead by example.

Lets pray: Father God, please hear our prayers as we need your wisdom. Lord we ask that first you forgive us for our sins. You tell us we will fail and like any father you want to forgive us and help us learn from these mistakes, so that we may teach our children.  Father help us stretch to you, not only in times of need, but in times of decision. Lord reach down and remove the doubt of your power out of the hearts of man. Lord restore hope in all those suffering so that they can see your true almighty power. Father help us be fathers after your own heart. Help us mold our children in the ways of Jesus. Lord help us be better examples to those around us. So our co-workers, peers or brothers in Christ may see that bright light shining in us through success or failure and know that is the Holy Spirit guiding our lives. Father know you are waiting after the tests as in Luke 22. Father we pray that you continue to prepare us for what is to come, and we will receive your teaching with open hearts and minds, so that we may pass them on. Father please help us find the strength to get up, brush ourselves off and move forward. Jesus we yearn after your knowledge so that we may walk in the light. Lord we wish to arm our children for the battles to come, so that they may be prepared for the failure that will come and the successes to follow. God thank you for your Love and knowledge you continue to bless us with. In Jesus name we pray...Amen.