Marriage: Contract or Covenant

Matthew 19:6, "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate."

Definitions:

Contract- An agreement between two or more parties, especially one that is written and enforceable by law.

Covenant- an agreement between God and his people in which God makes certain promises and requires certain behavior from them in return.

Looking at the above scripture and definitions it is pretty clear on which would best describe marriage. It's a simple understanding of Gods laws and principles. If you do not believe in God or his laws than marriage is just a contract. If you do then it is a covenant between God, husband and wife.

Unfortunately the majority of the world believes that marriage is a contract and can be broken or torn up on a whim. This is the enemy using his influence against those who are struggling. See he is very cunning and sneaky. He preys on the weak and unprotected. However, you do not have to be a victim. Follow along and you will see what I am referring too. Christians can also fall victim to these beliefs in their times of struggle. The enemy will whisper things like, "you do not need him/ her." "God want's you to divorce, he/ she wronged you beyond repair." or "God is not answering my prayers to save this marriage, therefore he must want us to divorce."  I can PROMISE you this......God "hates" divorce.

When you marry, and yes it doesn't matter where you were married or who married you, almost all of the marriages performed today create a covenant with God. As Christians, we are bound by this covenant for eternity. God does not give us any way out except, death. You see, even if you have married before and divorced or possibly did not build your current marriage on the principles of Christ. You are now aware of this covenant and must by Gods Law, fulfill it. This means you step up and enlist God to help you both restore and rebuild your marriage. As the man you should take the lead. Sometimes leading requires sacrifice while exercising loving techniques. Pray and God will show you the way.

Throughout the scriptures Gods number one principle is Love. He wants this to be our ultimate quest and satisfaction. No matter where you turn, Gods principles on marriage are seen. He is clear, Love your spouse in all times or issues (sick, poor, life, death, etc..), support and honor them, lift them up in times of need and stand by them in ALL things. There are no exceptions to this covenant, like "she lied to me" or "he cheated on me." We are to address those issues with each other and God then move on, keeping no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13). Even when we do not feel like it, we must support and respect our spouse. God says we are to rise above ourselves (our own feelings) and Love our spouse. You are to eat, share, support, witness and if needed, defend each other no matter what. 1 Corinthians 13:7 "Love bears all things." Greek translation for bears is "stego", this conveys covering over by maintaining silence. You cover the faults of your covenant partner (spouse). Even in Malachi 2:14, God states, if you have "treacherously" treated your wife (been unfaithful), she is still the wife of your covenant. You must do right by her.

Many will argue that the scripture allows for divorce (Matthew 19:8). Well if you read all of the scriptures it says that these were considerations for the "hardness of hearts" and never condoned anywhere by God. There are only a few instances in the Bible of these considerations, yet twice as many admonishing divorce. Then God says abundantly throughout the scriptures of His Love for the covenant of marriage. This would lead a reasonable man, even if he isn't a Christian, to believe God does not like divorce. Malachi 2:16, "God hates divorce." Pretty clear cut, with no area for question, Yet many will twist the scriptures to support their decisions, as divorce is a choice, not a requirement. Even secular counselors will say you cannot hide from the pain or issues causing the sought after divorce, it will have to be faced eventually. So if you have to face it, why not ask God to help you through it as He has designed and glorify Him in doing so? Save your marriage and stand for God and not with the worlds ideologies.

If you are not a Christian, yet feel divorce isn't the right thing for you, I implore you to reach out to your local church, christian friends or even comment here and let us lift you up in prayer. God can save your marriage if you let him work. If you are a believer in Christ, then there should be no question. Divorce shouldn't even be on the table. It is not an option in Gods eyes therefor shouldn't be in yours either. If you think it is then the enemy is working in you and I beg you reach out and seek help from your church or Christian brethren around you. Make a difference, stand for God and break the generational curses that surround us. Save your marriage, your family and your life. God will bless you and you will have a covenant stronger than ever before, just trust in Him.

Today's prayer I am going to borrow from CPR Marriage Ministry as this and many others there are a powerful reference.

BATTLING THE SPIRIT OF DIVORCE
I will exalt You, my God the King; I will praise Your name for ever and ever. Every day I will praise You and extol Your name for ever and ever. Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; His greatness no one can fathom. The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving toward all He has made. Lord, You uphold all those who fall and lift up all who are bowed down. Because the Sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore, have I set my face like flint, and I know I will not be put to shame. Thank you Lord, that You have seen (spouse's) ways, but You will heal (spouse); You will guide but You will heal (spouse); You will guide (spouse). (spouse's) heart is in the hand of the Lord; He directs it like a watercourse wherever He pleases. Cleanse (spouse and you) with hyssop, and we will clean; wash us, and we will be whiter than show. Create in (spouse and you) a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within us. Search us, O God, and know our heart; test us and know our anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in us and lead us both in the way everlasting. Amen.

Scriptures taken from Psalm 145:1-3, 13b-14, Isaiah 50:7, Isaiah 57:18, Proverbs 21:1, Psalm 51:7,10, Psalm 139: 23-24

Father, I pray that You will deliver ______________ and _______________ from self-centeredness.
Grant that ____________ and _____________ will have a servant's heart (Ephesians 2:3; 2 Timothy 3:2; Matthew 20:28; Philippians 2:5-11).

Father, in the name of Jesus, I pray that You would bind the work of Satan from this marriage. He would love nothing more than to destroy ____________ and ______________'s marriage. I ask You to stop His work in their lives and destroy his attacks against this marriage (John 8:44; Genesis 3:11-13).

Lord, I ask You to convict and deal with any unconfessed sin in ____________ or __________'s life. Enable us/them to deal with any sin that is hindering their marriage (1 John 1:9).

Father, I plead that ____________ and ____________ will speak the truth to one another in love. Cause ____________ and _____________ to honestly share their feelings without being arrogant or spiteful. Through love and honesty, enable _____________ and ______________ to work through
their differences (Ephesians 4:25; 1 John 4:7, 11).

Holy Spirit, I pray that You would create a spirit of forgiveness in ____________ and ______________. In the name of Jesus, I plead that we/they will put away all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and slander, along with every form of malice. In the place of this, I pray that we/they would be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other as God for Christ's sake has forgiven them (Matthew 6:14-15; Ephesians 4:31-32).

Father, I plead that You would bring _____________ and ______________ into a more intimate relationship with Yourself. Cause us/them to long for You as the deer longs for water. Grant us/them a hunger in their soul for You. Create within us/them a spirit of prayer, especially for each other (Psalm 42:1-2, 63:1; John 17:3; Colossians 4:2).

Holy Spirit, I plead that You will convict ___________ and _____________ about the problems in their marriage. I pray that Your conviction would be deep and sharp. Deliver __________ and ____________ from being defensive and self-righteous about the problems in the marriage and Your conviction concerning these things. Grant that ___________ and ___________ would humbly accept Your conviction and will change as You deal with him or her (John 16:7)

Father, I ask that You would deal with any past problems in _____________ or ______________'s life that is causing trouble now. Your Word declares that You heal the brokenhearted and that You bind up their wounds. In the name of Jesus, I ask You to be true to Your Word and heal the emotional wounds and baggage that we/they have in our/their lives (Psalm 147:3).

Father, in the name of Jesus and by the power of Your Holy Spirit, I plead that _______________ will love ________________ as Christ loved the church. Cause _____________ to have a sacrificial and serving love toward ______________. At the same time, in the name of Jesus and by the power
of the Holy Spirit, I plead that _______________ will be a loving and submissive wife. Cause ____________ to support and minister to ____________ (Ephesians 5:22-33).

Father, I pray that You would rekindle passion and desire between ______________ and ______________. I ask You to bless our/their relationship and cause them to rejoice in it. I pray that
______________ and ____________ would be satisfied and exhilarated with each other's love (Proverbs 5:15-23).

Lord Jesus, You have declared that what therefore go has joined together, let no man separate. You have declared the will of the Father. It is the Father's will for marriages to be for a lifetime. You desire one man to be with one woman for life. This is Your heart's desire. Because this is Your heart's desire, I plead with you to save and strengthen _____________ and ______________'s marriage. Because this is Your heart's desire, I ask in the name of Jesus that You will do whatever it takes to protect and defend this marriage. O God, do not let sin, Satan, circumstances, or problems separate what You have joined together
(Mark 10:2-9).